The bride walks down the aisle, a step at a time, taking her time, walking slowly as all eyes are on her. Her dashing beauty radiating into the air, her flawless white flowing gown gorgeously tailored to fit every curve on her body.
Everybody's head turning with her movement, right from when she entered and the music went on. She's smiling so beautifully and it seems to have a certain glow around her. For a moment, I see something in her eyes as she walked past the row I was seated. I was at the end close to the aisle. For a moment I saw hesitation in her eyes but when I looked again she had that big smile on and it reflected in her eyes like she was truly happy.
She finally reaches her groom, he's standing tall and happy with every nerve in his body showing how proud he is of her. When she stood opposite him and was facing him, he leaned in and whispered something in her ear, the expression she wore next was something I've never seen on her face and it stung me hard. Every nerve in my body was filled with jealousy and I didn't bother hiding it with the look on my face.
I should be the one standing by her side. I should be the smiling at her. I should be the one whispering in her ear. Not him. I sigh as the priest motions at everyone to sit. I'm half engrossed with my phone and the other half with the proceedings happening before me. When I heard the priest say,
"If there is anyone here who has a reason why these two before me should not be joined in holy matrimony, should speak now or forever hold his peace."
This was when my heart began racing. I started a tug of war on what to do with my inner voice.
Dude don't try it.
Why shouldn't i? I obviously haven't gotten over her.Just let it go. You fighting a lost war.
Just then, she turned and our eyes met. I held hers in mine for a few seconds but it felt like eternity. A few unspoken words said only through our eyes. Everywhere went silent as the murmurs died down and everyone kept turning to see if anyone was going to say anything.
I do! I have something to say! I object! She can't get married to him. "0k. We move on then." The priest continued.
I kept screaming but no one seemed to notice me. No one seemed to care. No one seemed to move or stare. Then I realized it was all in my head. I didn't have the guts to speak out. My voice had failed me.
The rest of the ceremony went on in a breeze, even the reception afterwards. I was just physically there, paying little or no attention to the happenings as they went along. What even made me come for this wedding? I shouldn't have accepted the invitation in the first place but because of the respect I had for her mother, I couldn't refuse. For Christ's sake this is my ex. The woman I planned to have a future with. The woman I saw as the mother of my children. The woman I can call my one true love.
What if we never started acting snobbish towards each other because of the arguments? The awkward conversations we had that let our pride get in the way, no one wanted to be the bigger person. Slowly, we became familiar strangers.
What if we never had those arguments that led to the beginning of the end? The arguments that put up a wall between us, brick by brick. With every shout, every negative gesture, every spiteful word.
What if the chemistry never died down and the arguments never started? We kept the fire burning and strived to make it work no matter what.
What if we tried to work things out and tried to talk more maturely about how we felt instead of shouting? Would we still be together now?
So many times like now I just sit and wonder, baby did you really love me, did you really care? Was I 'the one that got away' or 'the one you got away from'? I keep wondering if letting you go was a mistake or if I've fully gotten over you and moved on. But that's it, all I can do is wonder.
I can't seem to let you go...
written by:- JAY
@SurestBoi_JAY
www.jaysville.wordpress.com![]()
